being where i am now doesnt really give me sores on myself. i'm beginning to accept the reality that i am meant to be where i am for the time being. i cant lie though, that i feel disappointed, and quite down in the mouth because i know my value when i'm out there. i must admit that i do feel envious of my friends who have managed to break free from prision. but then again, i feel thankful because i think if i were to be elsewhere, i dont have the energy to slog myself with up coming challenges...for sure...God knows our limits and we should trust him on that...and like i said , this place that i am now, is not my home, i'm just a passer through and if it is my time to leave, i'll be there, at the place where i belong. *sigh*...sometimes i always ask myself...what is it that they have, that i dont? why are mine all unsuccessful? seriously, i just cant help but to wanting to know the asnwers to these questions...am i really that bad at what i am doing right now? i dont think so. i enjoy it, i really do, but the condition of the institution makes everything else that i;ve planned impossible. u know, sometimes i wish...............forget it. i miss hanging out with deb...fel...bren..i miss being in the same room as them, quarelling with each other and then reconciling...being misunderstood by each other and then somehow naturally things would patch up...i really miss them! now that we're heading our own directions...how i wish there was only one from the start. life is so harsh towards us...dont u agree with me?
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