A pocket full of shells

When I was younger, I would cry my heart out every time my mother brought me to Sunday school. They didn’t know why, but I was just afraid to be friends with others…I was afraid to be called a freak coz I was physically different from children my age. To some people, I was their Frankenstein…or Hulk…or all the unpleasant, ugly names they had at that time. I guess my mum knew what I was going through but I was always in my own world for her to console or for me to let in to her…my childhood was a sad one…I was always bitter, I was always hurt by strangers…but worst, by those whom I love.

I always wonder to god, why did he bring me to earth? Why did he let a beautiful creation of his, grow up to be some1 no one wants to see.…

“Did he bring me here as a joke for everyone to laugh at”, I would always ask myself…

And those were some of the questions in life I couldn’t understand… (I can’t remember asking anyone, maybe I did but my mind’s like the sieve u know.) But now I realize that the world doesn’t want us to know that things don’t always go the way God wanted it to be...and the world, being itself, is being true to himself, and to us, is putting heavenly thoughts about living permanently here...coz that’s what the world wants us to believe. The world wants us to be madly in love with him!

Every time I’m feeling down in the mouth, I always have to remind myself this: when God brought us here, he never promised that we’d live a blissful and troubles life on earth.

Now I know…and I’ll always perceive God as a potter, and I’m one of his creations. And as his workmanship, there are bound to be ones that are uncompleted…which still need polishing up and modifications…so what’s there for me or us to do? We wait patiently for him to work on us…as he’s been so patient with us…

Readers, I think by now you would have a slight feeling that I’m in my depressed mode…BlllllluuurrrrGhHHhhHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..

Isn't she pretty? I admire her beauty..I envy her..!

p/s: I may sound or look depressed, but dont let that fool you into thinking that i'm a sourpuss...coz i'm NOT!