I'm angry!!! I'm furious!!! Stay away from me for I will rip your head off if u ever go near me!!!When am i getting my new pay?!?!?!!?!!?!?!?! This is so unfair!!! We're all being cheated!!I dont believe that u're so darn affected by this world economy crisis!!!Darn!!!! The richer gets richer everyday and the poor rots to death every single minute!

Jacqueline...!Fedrick...! Where are you?!

I was extremely exhausted last thursday as i had to rush to LCCT for a "rescue mission" straight away from work. I was speeding on the road; I didin't want to drive on the deserted-but-quite- brightly- lited elite highway alone for a time longer than an hour so i reached home nearly nine. Phew.. I was quite exasperated actually, but i took pity on him because he's got no one else but me here! thankfully, everything could be setteld..phew again.. i was home earlier than gundu...and reluctantly i took heavy steps into the house..not long after that, i was welcomed by the friendly meow and purrrr that always greeted gundu and i everytime we come back home..it was Jacqueline...the cat we've been feeding for a month since January. as she excitedly welcomed me home, she rubbed her soft silky fur against my legs which left like satin going through my skin. Really! She's got fur that soft! i think she must belong to someone...according to nana, a manja cat must have an ower...that's why they're very tame (just like jacq).but why did she suddenly appear at our doorstep a month ago?

Anyway, i heated up their food (Owh, a few minutes later, Fedrick joined her), laid the newspaper on the tiled floor to set up their "dinning hall" and served their dinner. Happily, they nibbled their food, while i lay on the couch, watching the tv. Jacqueline as usual was always the first between the 2 of them to finish their food (she usually doesnt finish her food; it is Fedrick who wallops the 2 platters of seafood). So i saw her going out of the house after that but not long after that she went in again, looking very suspicious and up to something major. Her eyes were glued to their "dinning hall"; the senario was like a tiger preying for its victim in the jungle. i didint want to pay that much attention to Jacq coz she's very mischevious and is always up to something. so i let her be. but then suddenly i heard plates clattering. i jumped out of the couch, and i saw something greyish wrigglying, trying to escape from Jacq's mouth. Oh My! she caught a rat! a baby rat i think...coz it was furless. i was excited! i ran to her to get a closer look but she ran out of the house. i guess she didin't want us to steal her dessert or supper. it was less than a minute later she went in the house without the rat (she must have hidden the dead rat somewhere) and then she left again. After that, i didin't know what happened coz i dozed off on the mattress and the next morning i found myself on the bed. As usual every morning i would open the door to greet them...but on that friday morning, it was Fedrick alone who was waiting outside our door. it was normal i thought, to have Jacq not come that morning. So i waited till evening, after work. but again, there was no sign of her...only Fedrick..Strange..usually she would wait for us at the porch...but not last friday, nor saturday or sunday...and till today... Gundu and i really miss her...her presence makes a differnce in our home...When Jacquline starts to go missing, Fedrick hardly comes home to have his meal...i find that strange...why is it that he stops coming to our house for meals when Jacqueline is no longer around? JACQULINE!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU?!!??!?!? To whom who knows her whereabouts...please pray that she'll be safe..She's a really special gendut cat..i think fedrick misses her too...he didin't eat well the first few days she was gone...I wish i have a picture of Jacq to show u...but ive it in my hp and i ran out of credit...HU!HU!

I'm in love....................waaahaaa..

Over the weekend, i spent my days watching Nich Khun sing and dance. Yes... i watched 2PM's music video repeativively...and continuously. It started off with watching Wonder girls's researhal dance with 2PM...and then from there i have this major crush on Nich Khun. I really envy SoHee, because Nich Khun was her dance partner. I have a crush on him because of how he danced with SoHee. dont ask me how but as i watch them dance i was slowly falling in love with him...*Sigh*...I miss the feeling that i'm feeling now..hehe...He has all the characteristics that i used to look for in my dream guy;...Tall...lanky...skinny but not too thin with the typical hip hopper's body posture...hehe..and of course...Nich Khun smiles with his eyes...YESSSSSSSSSS...I'm madly having a crush on him....WaWaWaWaWAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaa...let me introduce Nich Khun to you okay?? :

This is Nich Khun...*SigH...* It's so heart melting just to see his picture..Notice his eyes? No? His eyes are less chinky compared to the rest of the 2PM group members...u must be thinking..."He looks so babyish". I DONT CARE. Nevertheless, he looks a lil bit different as his hair's quite long right now, i think. but still, i just love those eyes of his... :))). Here's another pic of him with long hair:

That's him, drinking his water...He may not make ppl drool over him but i'm glad his not as beefy as some guys...kinda scarey ya know..Owh!I'M in love with Nich Khun!...and gundu is saying "do your assignment..do your assignment" in the background..ayooo..potong stim la..

Is it really normal?

I was waiting at the lobby when someone asked me this: "Is is normal to not want to have kids at all?". of course without hesitation i said: "Everyone goes through that stage in their life".

but do u really want to know what i really think? I really am positively sure, that u're perfectly normal if you ever thought or if u think that way. U see, i dont think this has got to do with one's culture,or whatsoever that we always think so, i think it's part of life; it's what we go through and those external factors are influencing us on how we think and live our life. Whatever it is, the right time would come and one day you'd wake up from your sleep and suddenly decide that you want to have kids. I believe that God makes us think the way we are now because He has planned it to be like that. Why? You'll never know...because He knows what's best for us. Maybe He makes u think that way because He wants you to learn some things out of thinking that way.

What if something else; something unwanted and petrifying comes out of the whole matter? Refer back to the creator of Heaven and earth!

YuuuHUUUUuuu...In langkawi here i am, with nothing to do but to sit there and then, i'm listeing to the music of aluminium tin, no wonder...it's their world their in. i see people riding on jet skies, i wish i could be on....

laaaadiiidaaa..yes..yes...YESSSS..yesterday we went island hoping...wasnt my first time but it was more fun and wet...BUGGGGHH... i wanna swim so badly but it's very scary if i dont wear my contact lens...but if i do, i'll get salt water in my eyes and that's gonna hurt them and that aint good...we spent about 8 hours in the car just to get to kuala perlis...the jam to get in and out of ipoh was REALLY bad...all cars were crawlling on the road and i tell u, it was a MAJOR jam! and when we got to kuala perlis, thank god Prof Jafaar was there to help out. the q at the jetty was mighty long and the place was so congested with humans and busses and cars...owhh gosh...i dont know what would happen if there wasn;t prof jafaar and to help us out with buying the tickets and the hospitality. after all the waiting and inquiring...we managed to get a ticket at 7pm..*PhEW*...However...our ferry was delayed for alsmot and hour...aiyoo..i almost die for suffication in the ferry coz it was packed and i was breathing the ferry's engine's smoke all the while..BUGHHHH..eh eh..i'm so hungry..

I can't help falling IN LOVE with the puppies in A*teen's clip!

Life isn't a bed of roses love!

being where i am now doesnt really give me sores on myself. i'm beginning to accept the reality that i am meant to be where i am for the time being. i cant lie though, that i feel disappointed, and quite down in the mouth because i know my value when i'm out there. i must admit that i do feel envious of my friends who have managed to break free from prision. but then again, i feel thankful because i think if i were to be elsewhere, i dont have the energy to slog myself with up coming challenges...for sure...God knows our limits and we should trust him on that...and like i said , this place that i am now, is not my home, i'm just a passer through and if it is my time to leave, i'll be there, at the place where i belong. *sigh*...sometimes i always ask myself...what is it that they have, that i dont? why are mine all unsuccessful? seriously, i just cant help but to wanting to know the asnwers to these questions...am i really that bad at what i am doing right now? i dont think so. i enjoy it, i really do, but the condition of the institution makes everything else that i;ve planned impossible. u know, sometimes i wish...............forget it. i miss hanging out with deb...fel...bren..i miss being in the same room as them, quarelling with each other and then reconciling...being misunderstood by each other and then somehow naturally things would patch up...i really miss them! now that we're heading our own directions...how i wish there was only one from the start. life is so harsh towards us...dont u agree with me?